Hello all, I have not posted for a while, but thought I had to share a bit of this, to vent my spleen if nothing else... It has become a bit long. Sorry!!!
Anyway, if you are sitting comfortably, I’ll begin.
Given the continued threat of summer, I thought I had better get the skorpion back on the road (having had the tyre dramas recently sorted). Also time to ditch the GoreTex, and get the leathers dusted off! Yay!!

I just checked it over yesterday and really enjoyed my ride into central London today. However, one thing I had not done was change the oil. And having wrecked an engine or two in my time, that was tonight's job.
For those not familiar with the skorpion lube system, it is a faff. Like all the Yam singles, its a dry sump system and it never seems to be very sure about what the level is. You need to check the level after its been running for a bit, so that the oil has all pumped back into the tank. Simple enough huh...?? And to drain it, you need to drain the engine, and the tank. And on the skorpion its even worse than the XT, as the drain plug for tank is in the line.
(As an aside, the oil tank was originally designed to be in the frame, as designed by Dave Pearce for the prototype. However, this was deemed too expensive for mass manufacture, and with nowhere to put a tank, the MZ bods put it…. under the seat, and above the back wheel.
So you see where this is going.
First of all- not that impressed at Halfords- they’ve put the prices up, and my mate with a trade card wasn’t about. 27 quid for 5 litres….

Back at home, drain the oil. But no! Big puddle of dirty oil as I miscalculate the amount of oil in the sump. OK, hopefully the neighbours will be cool with that.

Anyway, plugs back in. Bleed plug open. Do not remove bleed plug completely, as it scoots up 4 feet, usually into my eye.
[ha! Not this time!! Getting smug now]

Fill up *tiny* oil tank, and begin to run engine. At this point, all the oil disappears into the motor. Note oil bleeding merrily from the filter chamber, and tighten it up.
So bar the slight oil stain, all is well till this point. Not for much longer.
Stop engine, and top up oil tank. The oil in there promptly disappears into the motor again.
So why oh why, did I keep pouring it in, despite knowing that these motors only take 2 to 2.5 litres?? F u c k knows, but I did. Soon it overfills, and pumps oil out. All over the back tyre.
Gaaaaahh!! ::)Quick, quick, clean it off! The tyre’s quite new.
And now there’s a second oil stain!!
So, not that happy.

And now I am using a syringe to remove oil from the tank. Nowhere clean to put it, but its only about 50 mls, so I’ll just dump it.
10 minutes later, tyre now clean, slabs now clean. Lets fire it up again.
IMMEDIATELY pumps more oil all over the back of the bike!!!
So I get it cleaned again, and drop about a pint of my 27 quid oil into the drain pan. Not happy about that.
But it will be ok now. No? GAAAAAHHHH!!!! 3rd time, but at least its only a little.
Hot water, fairy liquid, scrubbing brush. Tyre, wheel, slabs. Absolutely livid by now, and starting to throw things around.

Been there??
I was cursing (in no particular order)
Halfords, for their oil being too dear
My mate for being out when I wanted to use his trade card
Me for having done this 3 times (unbelievable, really), having (yes) previously done it on the last oil change
MZ for being too cheap, then putting the EFFING TINY OIL TANK ABOVE THE REAR WHEEL!!!!
Yamaha for their uncheckable, constantly variable oil level
MZ again, for the max and min marks on the dipstick being about 3mm apart.
Oh yeah, then I noticed the nail in the rear tyre….
And then (this is finally the point of the rant) I had a thought:
“Life’s too short for this sh1t”.And you know what? For some reason, and I know not why, I thought of Bruce. And my (late) father. Life really is too short. Too short to be getting worked up when (actually) nothing is wrong. I’m just a bit daft. That’s not exactly news to anyone on here, me included.
And I’m not sure about Bruce, but my old man would have given anything for an extra day to fettle his bike.
Here I was, playing in my shed. A place where I am happiest. Getting pi55ed off. For no reason. And I have somewhere to live. And people who I love, and they appear to love me. And a bike. And even a (stupid) car. So what is really wrong??
I have (give or take, hopefully) maybe at best, 15,000 days left. Not really that many! As many, maybe, as crystals of salt in a teaspoon? (…man! And no, no additional thought provoking substances used for a while now…)
So why let this one be ruined?? After rationalising this, I decided to drain another further pint. Into (behold) a clean pint glass. So that I can cleverly pour it back in if it was too much.
An hour later, I had adjusted the previously dodgy clutch cable, ridden a couple of miles, cleaned the tyre, ridden a bit more, cleaned the rim, ridden a bit more, cleaned up the back end.
I decided I had to post this rather cathartic, and slightly sentimental rant. Cos I also thought of Pat’s tag line: “Live long Live well Live happy”
That sounds like quite good advice.
See you!

Andy
(and….. relax)