Saturday, had an XVS950 as a courtesy/demo bike, report here-
Barnaby Wylde takes the keys from the breathless salesman with a knowing smile. Why is the salesman breathless? He's just had to move the mighty XVS950 Midnight Star from one end of the showroom to the other. With it's wide pullback 'bars and long, low stance, the Midnight Star carries it's weight in an awkward way when not under power. It could be that, or it could be that the salesman is desperate to attend to Barnabys wishes.
Probably the former.
Slinging a leg over the low and quite wide saddle, Barnaby turns the key and thumbs the medium size Vee twin into life. With a satisfying gurgle emanating from the two into one pipe he raises a leg forward and drops the bike into gear with his heel. Fashion demands cleanliness, and the heel and toe rocker gear lever allows his brogues to remain clean on top.
It's also similar to the C90 he used to use for shopping trips for his Nan.
Heading out onto the open road the air is wet with the joyous moisture of anticipation. Barnaby feels sure that any women he sees will melt in awe and contribute to the dampness in the air as they behold the throbbing black and chrome appendage pulsing away between his legs.
The ride home is uneventful and in the somewhat uninspiring weather conditions Barnaby considers the XVS to be smooth and discrete. It's early-rider friendly power delivery is soft and cosseting, even though the engine sits with such prominence between his legs.
The next day dawns bright and dry, and with a cursory check over of the steed, Barnaby gets his favourite gal to ride bitch and they head off into the blue skies, for who knows where.
Pausing alongside an industrial creation the sun beams down briefly on the pair and their iron horse, before running to hide it's glowing face from the awesomeness that Barnaby and the XVS represent.
After trying to capture the intense coolness of the sleek beast, Barnaby snaps a few more pics, and realises his reflection is repeated several-fold on the bike, amongst the many places adorned with chrome. Chrome won't get you home? Hah, sneers Barnaby, this is Japanese chrome. Refined, soft, safe.
"Time to go, honey" rips forth from his lips, and as both are aboard he utters one more thing; "hold on". The XVS leaps forward like an unleashed Sex Panther as Barnaby buries the chrome trimmed twistgrip back against the stop. A squeal of ecstasy from behind leaves him knowing the XVS has instilled the desired affect.
As they power down the highway, carving through the gravel and dirt speckled bends, there is the occasional exceedingly manly scraping from the footboards as they kiss the tarmacadam.
A house painted like a Freisian cow is passed, and with a hollow laugh of realising that if the house was a cow, it would yield huge proper steaks, Barnaby swings the XVS to a stop to capture the juxtaposition of the beast of a bke, and what could be a great steak.
Off again, and this time the valley opens out and a heady 85mph is seen on the large black speedo, housed in the central chrome panel on the tank. The chrome allows Barnaby to admire his jutting chin and feisty beard flowing in the wind as he rides.
With a check of the timepiece included in the easy to read central panel, Barnaby acknowledges that time and time tide wait for no man, and the good lady behind has an appointment to keep. She clings tight as Barnaby pilots the XVS deftly through the flowing bends, almost as if he and the bike are seamlessly joined at his sexually active hips.
Once again on the open road and with 80mph showing, Barnaby feels this is the optimum speed given that he is now acting as a large leather clad sail in the wind which comes rushing over the protruding headlamp and those exceedingly wide 'bars. Scrubbing a little speed off using the single disc up front, and by applying a little pressure through the large single disc out back, Barnaby tips the Sex Panther XVS into the final roundabout and leaves a trail of sparks from both footboards as they enter and exit the roundabout.
Finally home and his best gal delivered to her arrangement, Barnaby reflects on the Midnight Star. The weight of the bike is absent once rolling, but tight turns do require the handlebars to be brought right close to the body, putting the rider off balance. The throttle response is smooth and unhurried, and the brakes are well set up for the relaxed nature of the XVS. The only mild fly in the pint is the gearbox and gear lever; the box can be clunky on downchanges unless a blip of throttle is applied, and the clearance of the lever between the footboard, means the rider is forced to use the heel and toe system, unless bedecked in slim Hush Puppies, or other such footwear. Overall though, the bike is unassuming, despite the style. It has no real pretensions to being a gaudy übercruiser, instead providing a lighter side of the bad boy lifestyle, one you could take to tea with your Mum and Gran, and one that might do the dishes afterwards and maybe enjoy a nice cup of Earl Grey with a small slice of lemon whilst nibbling on a ginger wafer.
Swore at the paint on the DR/SR today, then a run out on the Ten to say a mate before doing some gardening and having a fire, not much really. Spotted Jethro at lights on Malpas, but he was away like the wind before I caught up...
