Thumper Club Forum
Club House => Chatter => Topic started by: guest7 on October 20, 2008, 08:11:12 PM
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As I was making my lonely way up to Dent this weekend, I fell back into my bad habit of talking to myself as I rode along. Sometimes I sing, but sometimes I talk... all sorts of bollocks.
One example was when I passed a sign saying 'no hard shoulder for 300 yards' which I repeated for ten solid minutes... in a clipped Noel Coward voice. The I started adding cowardesque phrases like, 'but your soft shoulder will do my dear, yes your soft shoulder should do' ::)
Later in the trip I was getting stressed about riding a poorly braked outfit on country lanes in the pouring rain when I saw a sign saying 'Think Bike'. I screamed "That's all I'm fucking thinking about you cunt, I'm thinking about not crashing this bike... you bastards"
I put it down to sleep deprivation.
What songs or ponderings do you fall into on long trips?
GC
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Thanks God. I thought it was just me.............
Richard
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But you're an atheist :o
Thanking God - which God?
Steffan
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But you're an atheist :o
Thanking God - which God?
Steffan
The God of all Things Mechanical !
Jethro
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The list is endless! I once travelled the length of the M5 shouting Gypo! to every car I overtook or that overtook me. The Idea of the game is to use as many different accents and styles as you can without repeating yourself.
Then there's the Wazzerk, Boggy or Honeybunny game. As you overtake assess the driver according to whether they are a Wazzerk (nearly all males) Boggy (Ugly woman, occasionally serverely ugly bloke) or Honeybunny (you can guess that one)
Or sing some random song and change all the lyrics to fit with what you can see at the time. An example is: On the way to work I quite often see Downton lorries, this gets worked into Petula Clarkes 'Down town' changing the lyrics to discribe the road at the time, or what just overtook the lorry, or what the weather's doing.
On this trip to Dent, Boyd gave me a pair of ear plugs to try. Spent the rest of the Journey making random noises to see what they'd sound like. Best was knocking my teeth together while grinning. ;D
I have loadsa fun me.
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Yeah we can tell from the POTD! ;D
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It varies with my mood.....I'll either sing 'wild rover' in a variety of accents picked up from where i've lived (mainly....Norfolk.....Cornish....and sarf lunnen)...this i find immensely entertaining, and end up larfin.....what a sad git...i really must get out more
or...if i'm subject to or witnes some cr4p driving...I compose letters to the chief constable, again in a variety of dialects...reporting the miscreant and advising on suitable punishment......these usually get me past the cold/pain/etc barrier and onto the next tea stop
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Ah, but have you noticed certain songs have no end? "Down Town" is one of note, after 120 miles you can still be on "where the Neon lights are pretty". :-\
There is of course number plate scrabble which is a useful measure of how cold, tired, ****** off you are (eg when you can't make a word out of B123UGR, it's time to stop), or the more dangerous overtaking snooker (a variation on West Yorkshire police's infamous speeding ticket snooker).
Certain parts of the medical profession would have a ball :-[
Andy
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Today , in a rare dollop of sunshine , I took the XS out for a toddle . Things went quite well and I found myself stooging around at angels 15 , quickly approaching a slower moving bomber formation on the 4232. All of a sudden the film 'Battle of Britain ' leapt to the fore .I was a Polish fighter pilot attacking the Luftwaffe hoards ..........
Safety off ....check the angle of deflection....
DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA! ..........
Far away shout of ' Achtung Spitfire !'
Junkers 88 { Black Ford Focus } erupts into a ball of flame { no chutes , instant death,}
Onto the next in the formation , some tracer coming back from the rear gunner { small child in rear seat, flicking the vics }
DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!................
You get the picture I'm sure ......
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whenever i enter buckinghamshire, i shout 'BUCKINGHAMSHIRE!' in a loud and posh voice. Dunno why but i've done it for about 5 years now.
Also the theme tune from Steptoe & Son, as well as Moto GP bike sounds to make up for my quiet exhaust.
Every now and then a loud 'MEEHP' from General Melchett (Blackadder goes forth) errupts from my pie hole, especially when a fine moustache is spotted.
Once i did 550miles in a day on my CB500, all alone on french motorways. During those 10 hours i dabbled quite frequently with the motorcycle equivalent of 'Cabin Fever' and had many a conversation with myself and the road furniture!
bullet350
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On a nice run one summer, playing tail and charlie with a couple of slowish riders, I had the luxury of being able to really relax into the ride. As we crossed Powys I started doing a mock Alan Whicker style commentary on everything I saw. If I say so myself some if it was really funny, but a tad strange.
Two worrying things: it said stuff about my subconscious that I didn't care to examine and it went on for nearly two hours :o
GC
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whenever i enter buckinghamshire, i shout 'BUCKINGHAMSHIRE!' in a loud and posh voice. Dunno why but i've done it for about 5 years now.
bullet350
Got exactly the same thing going on when I ride through SHROPSHIRE. ;D Came from an episode of some spin off comedy show from 'Only fools & horses' with Trigger & Marlene.
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> Thanks God. I thought it was just me.............
Talking to myself again..............
Richard
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Junkers 88 { Black Ford Focus } erupts into a ball of flame { no chutes , instant death,}
Onto the next in the formation , some tracer coming back from the rear gunner { small child in rear seat, flicking the vics }
DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!................
You get the picture I'm sure ......
You've been looking in my head.. :o Except it was a Wellington and I was piloting an Emil... :-[
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Old trick I used to do very frequentley when Despatching.
When the road was relatively clear !!!!!!!!!
Close my eyes and start counting....see how long I could keep my eyes shut and to see if I stayed in the same lane ????? ???
Wouldnt do that now....Well Not Too Often.....too much traffic !!!!
Jethro
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re ' close my eyes and start counting '
You'd probably only get to ten before you'd have to stop for a tinkle now .
When I was despatching , around the same time as above , I would frequently sing ,
I can see clearly now , the rain has gone etc ......{ Bill Withers ? } and , to my eternal shame ,
" Crazy Horses WAAAAAAH ! , WAAAAAH !,
This would obviously include all relevant guitar breaks .
I used to offset the above with renditions of Highway Star {especially when joining motorways } , Lazy and Space Trucking as per Deep Purple , Made In Japan . These also included all guitar parts and Jon Lords organ ......................
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whenever i enter buckinghamshire, i shout 'BUCKINGHAMSHIRE!' in a loud and posh voice. Dunno why but i've done it for about 5 years now.
bullet350
Got exactly the same thing going on when I ride through SHROPSHIRE. ;D Came from an episode of some spin off comedy show from 'Only fools & horses' with Trigger & Marlene.
We always have 10 minutes of Private Fraser from Dads Army whenever I pass the sign telling me i'm in Scotland :-[
Andy
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Thank You RobG !!!!!!!! >:(
The other Dispatch Trick(?) when bored on the M/way.
The Bike concerned had a pair of Handle Bars from Captain Cardiff to match the Sissy Bar from the same chap.
These bars were high enough for me to look under my arm without turning my head ! They were quite high !
Well I'd look under my arm down to the white lines,whizzing past !
After a while it becomes quite hipnotic and the miles fly by.
Oooh ! I think I need a Tinkle now.
Jethro
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Whenever my wife and I visit Scotland we always shout 'OCH AYE THE NOO' and sing Scotland The Brave.
Sad and pathetic, particularly as we are not Scottish and only know the first two lines of the above anthem.
And I thought it was just me (and the wife), now I know different, were all loonies together!
Hurrah! ;D
Andy