Thumper Club Forum
Club House => Humour => Topic started by: CrazyFrog on June 08, 2021, 06:07:27 PM
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The British Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of
£1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of £72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with £96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old sergeant-major who, when asked where he would like to be measured, replied, 'From the tip of my penis to my testicles.'
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received.
But the old sergeant-major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived at the barracks in the UK and instructed the sergeant-major to 'drop 'em', which he did.
The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the sergeant's penis and began to work back. 'Dear Lord,' The medical officer suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your balls?'
The old sergeant-major calmly replied, 'Afghanistan.'
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Top drawer! 🤣🤣🤣
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Tee hee!
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Excellent 😂😂😂
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Nice to see old Vietnam war jokes still doing the rounds! Here's another one.
Two soldiers in a field hospital were to receive a visit from the President as a morale boosting exercise. The first one was asked where his injuries were and said in a rather embarrassed way 'I got hit in the butt hole by shrapnel sir'. The President asked what his treatment was and the soldier replied 'to scrub the injured place twice a day with a brush sir'. The President then asked what the soldier's ambition was. 'To return to the war to fight for my country sir'.
The President asked the next soldier where his injury was. 'I got hit in the throat with shrapnel sir'. What was the treatment? 'To scrub the injured place twice a day with a brush sir'. What is your ambition? 'To get the brush before he does sir'!
Ok I'm leaving.
Spartacus